School Library Journal
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Gr 9 Up—Nehanda, a Black, disabled, nonbinary poet, recounts being diagnosed with leukemia at age 23 and navigating the healthcare system, their estranged family, and their relationship with their fiancé in this searing debut memoir in verse. They have a way with words, and the poetic way they share their pain, how their family has mistreated them, and how Black people are treated by the healthcare system make for a powerful read. Some passages are written in prose and recount various times in their life, such as coming out and being kicked out of their home, while verse parts explore the burden they felt their sickness was on everyone around them. They also explore what it means to be disabled in an inaccessible world. The prologue touts this as not like The Fault in Our Stars because of how raw and real the author is, and they hold up to that promise. Nehanda is also inspired by Black artists such as Whitney Houston and Audre Lorde. This work runs the full gamut of emotions, and readers will be captivated by the author's poetry, heart, and pain. VERDICT A recommended purchase for teen memoir collections because of the powerful writing and storytelling.—Molly Dettmann

Kirkus
Copyright © Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

A young Black nonbinary activist copes with the enormity of a cancer diagnosis and medical racism, while facing the deep pain and deep love of the life they’re trying to save. Upon being diagnosed with leukemia at 23, Nehanda embarked on a devastatingly steep learning curve about the cancer poisoning their blood and the pieces of their life and self that cancer had thrown into stark relief. Nehanda swiftly found that the casual bigotry, emotional abuse, and neglect they’d dealt with all their life were potently envenomed by ableism and might together kill them faster than the disease ravaging their body. Yet, as their struggles connected Nehanda more deeply to elders and ancestors, they were able to dig through the detritus of others’ expectations and harms and connect with themself as well. Told in a collection of poems and short essays, the book opens with warnings that readers won’t find a John Green novel in its pages and that the author-narrator will fail readers’ expectations—ghoulish and inspirational alike. Nehanda infuses queer Black disabled resilience and wretchedness into a poetic sinew that stretches, tears, and heals again and again, unspooling the mundane trauma of trying to survive as Black, fat, queer, trans, and disabled despite (and to spite) systems built to hasten their erasure. This memoir is kindred intersectional storytelling that searingly responds to Audre Lorde’s call in The Cancer Journals. Shatters mirrors and windows to reveal the jagged shards of self-determination: “gently volatile” and absolutely crucial. (writer’s note, reading list) (Memoir/poetry. 14-adult) Copyright © Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Publishers Weekly
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In this strikingly intimate debut memoir, Nehanda delivers an unflinching account of living with leukemia as a Black, queer, nonbinary person. The poet conveys their yearslong experience with blood cancer, which they were diagnosed with in 2017 at 23, via beautifully rendered stream of conscious prose and biting poetry; “this is not a romanticization of tragedy,” Nehanda writes in an author’s note—“welcome to my lecture on medical racism.” The creator addresses the time during which they lived with their parents while undergoing treatment, depicting their strained parent-child relationship following years of physical and emotional abuse (“Abuse is their idea of parenting”), their dealings with bigoted doctors (“American Horror Story: Racist Hospital Edition”), and the monetary worries that led to their late diagnosis (“I didn’t go to the doctor for years/ ...anything,/ including a grave,/ was better than medical debt”). A forcefully crafted collection of poetic and narrative storytelling with devastating impact, Nehanda’s searing work candidly speaks to complex truths surrounding the emotional, financial, physical, and social realities of illness and medical racism in contemporary America. Ages 14–up. Agent: Katherine Latshaw, Folio Literary. (Feb.) ■

Book list
From Booklist, Copyright © American Library Association. Used with permission.

Nehanda is a Black, queer, nonbinary writer and activist who was diagnosed with leukemia in 2017, at 23 years old. This is their survival story, told in poetry and short essays. Growing up, Nehanda lived with mental health issues and self-hatred stemming from familial abuse and generational trauma. The Los Angeles Medi-Cal system forced Nehanda to fight for the treatment they needed, even while they struggled to believe they deserved it. Ultimately, they chose to undergo a stem cell transplant in 2020, isolated by the pandemic, accompanied only by beloved ancestors who walked or sat by their side. Nehanda is a gifted poet with a fiercely honest, achingly vulnerable voice. They reveal both the ugly and the beautiful, their anger (“Concept: Coraline but Make It Black”) as compelling as their stunning love poems (“Heaven Is at Grandma’s House” is unforgettable) and odes (“Nail Salon as Self-Care”). This is a challenging reading experience, a “living memory” that moves forward and back across an uncertain time line, through medical racism, fatphobia, and self-harm into resilience, compassion, and self-love. Teens will recognize the inspirations for many of the poems, from bell hooks to Megan Thee Stallion, as they follow Nehanda’s journey to its cathartic, revelatory end.